03-23-04

Well, I haven't been able to update this blog in well over a week, and its not appearing I'll get FTP access back anytime soon. Plus I leave for Europe in a week. So, until you hear different, if you still would like to read my misadventures, you can check out my Livejournal, which I will be posting to on a fairly regular basis.

My apologies to everyone, I prefer this blog to the LJ myself, but I see no way around it. This entry had to be uploaded by a friend. So, until I find a way to fix it otherwise, I'll see you all on my LJ.

Thanks,
Z
0 comments

03-18-04

St.Patrick's Day was yesterday. Whooooo.

It began by me waking up completely hung over. I passed out while doing vodka shots with Liz, and yeah, didn't have a chance to eat or drink any water, so I was sick as a dog to start the day.

As backstory, Tuesday night we drank: 1 bottle of merlot, about 7 butterball shots (irish cream and butterscotch schnappes), about 3 malibu shots, and several vodka shots. I honestly don't remember how many shots, by the time we started doing straight vodka, I was pretty gone.

Once I finally was able to move on Wed. afternoon, we hiked downtown to see an Irish St. Patty's parade. DAMN. There were thousands upon thousands of people there. It took us about 30 minutes of wandering just to find a spot to watch the parade, and we had to look through a metal mesh fence to do so. The parade was kinda unspectacular, but it was a very friendly, family, almost carnival-type atmosphere. We came home with a bag of cotton candy, if that tells you anything.

Went out on the town afterwards, hit up a couple bars. The second place we went was the SHIT. It seemed like everyone we knew was there, and to top it off, there was this cover band that played until 1am. I was so excited when they played Rage's "Killing in the Name of" that apparently the band could hear me. I was standing to the side of the stage, and the guitarist AND the singer turned to face me to play the chorus while I sang the refrain.
Now you're under control...
"Now ya do what they told ya!!!"
Man, that was TIGHT. I've never seen Rage live, and I mean, it wasn't the same, but it was DAMN good. I just couldn't believe it. I mean, they played JUST for me, and I'm sorry, mebbe I'm just simple, but hot damn, that really made my day. The band, Blue Moose played a bit of everything, and did it all well. Blink 182, Outkast, Nirvana, and man, I loved it. I sat there, drank, danced, and had a good time for damn near 3 hours.

After that, apparently I decided it was a good idea to piss in a dark alley. Now, I must admit, this was not my finest moment, but I don't think I could have made it home. It was about a half-hour walk. So, Nick and Liz watched for the garda while I pissed in someone's garden. Yeah. Oops.

Whatever. It was a stupid night, but I don't give a shit. I had a GREAT time. I spent St. Patrick's day in Ireland, with great music, a beautiful girl, good booze, and my friends. I couldn't ask for anything more.
0 comments

03-14-04

Today is steak and bj day. I'm operating under the (probably false) assumption that I may magically partake in this truly great day in the hour and a half that today has remaining.

I've been doing a WHOLE lot of self-reflection over the past few days. Certain events in my life have caused me to step and back and kind of analyze where I am and what I want.

The thing is, I'm just not so sure I have an answer for these questions. I want to be happy. That's simple enough. Honestly, that's all that really matters. I've figured out enough about life to know what makes me happy:

Massive cheeseburgers, covered with fixings.
A good book, new movie, or episode of Angel/Buffy.
A nights sleep when I know I don't have to wake up at any specific time the next day.
That sense of accomplishment when I feel like I've done something well, or being the best at something I care about.
Having friends around me who support me, and I feel won't betray me.
A girl in my life who knows all of what I am, who shares in my interests.
Enough money to take care of myself, and the people around me. Not to excess, but enough to take care.

So, I'm happy. I've got these things, usually, even though the money is a bit short right now. (I'm not worried, I'll just work hard this summer.) My entire life up to this point has been spent in a pursuit of these things. They were what I thought made me happy, and it turns out they were. I love being right.

But now I ask: what next? Should I feel some innate desire to do something spectacular with my life? I know I have the ability to do damn near anything I want, and I don't feel like I should waste that. I settled on computers because I can do them, and they're of great interest to me. But I think I'd be happier putting them together all day than programming them. However, there is no money in that. And its important to me to be able to provide. Someday (NOT SOON) I want to have a son, and I never want him to worry about there being food on the table, or a house to come home to.

Until very recently, this was just a generalization in my head. This is my house with a white picket fence dream. My goal in life, as it were. However, I'm starting to be forced to ask how I'm going to get there. I'm starting to ask, is this all I want?

I'm starting to ask questions I don't have the answers to. I know I'm ambitious. I always want the best, or at least the best I can have. This is why I only chase the best women (in my eyes). This is why I always have more electronic equipment than Best Buy. This is why, even at jobs I hate, I try to be the best.

So, I'm starting to think I may not be happy stuck in a dead end job. I'm starting to wonder what precisely I want to do with the rest of my life.

One thing my mind keeps coming back to is teaching. I love interacting with people. I think I could be a pretty good teacher. But I don't think I'd be happy teaching ignorant little kids, or arrogant high schoolers. I think to do it, I'd have to do it on the college level. To do that, I'm looking at grad school. At least another 4 years, most likely. Prolly a doctorate. That's a lot of time and money. Almost prohibitively so.

I guess I'm just feeling a bit aimless at the moment. I've had a very set goal for myself for as long as I can remember.

The most recent was come to Ireland. I don't know why I felt I had to, but I felt it, deep down, and I pursued it. I felt that way about Liz, too. Now I did both of those things. I found a way to come here, and I found a way to win over the girl of my dreams. However, that gut feeling that was motivating me isn't there anymore. Its not like I'm dissatisfied with what I have. Quite the opposite actually. But I wonder: what next?

Is it just me that wonders this? Do you people just know what it is you want? Do you all have plans?
3 comments

03-13-04

So, I kinda wonder what my special "something" is.

You know, that something that someone does that noone else really does.

Basically, I'm slowly starting to realize that I'm going to have to figure out real quick what I'm doing with the rest of my life.

And I have no idea what that is. I do know that I'm strangely good at getting people to talk to me, to open up to me. I don't know how, its not really something I asked for, but I like it. I like having that relationship with my friends. And even with people who I wouldn't really call a friend.

But is that something that I can build my life on? Is that something I want to build my life on?

Meh, I think I'll just work in a cubicle for 20 years, make more money than God, retire young, get a trophy wife, and buy a house with both Mountain Dew and Guinness on draft.

I think I can live with that.
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03-11-04

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the culture of fear.

I'm tired of feeling like I should have to look over my shoulder, out of fear that I'm going to get blown up today.

I can't get on a plane without thinking of 9-11. And now, I can't get on a train without thinking of today.

I bought my euro-rail pass LAST NIGHT. I bought a 21 day pass, starting March 30th. I'm supposed to be in Madrid, Spain in about 3 weeks.

And the media's response: "Are you safe?" "Who did this?" "Be careful, there may be more."

This is bullshit. I'm scared, sure, but I'm not going to quit. I'm not going to cancel my trip. I'm not going to live in FEAR.

What kind of asshole wakes up one day, and decides that because he has been wronged, he's going to blow up a train full of people heading to their morning jobs? Yeah, its Frank the accountant's fault that the terrorist's political party sucks. You know the article I linked to? One of the survivors speaks of how she watched a baby get blown to bits in front of her. A CHILD.

This child never had a chance to hurt anyone.

And now, again, we're going to have rounds of finger pointing. "Whose fault was this?" "Well, certainly not ours!" "Lets blame the trains, and security on them!" "Yeah, next time they'll blow up buses! That'll fix it!"

Seriously, people, there are no shortage of targets. Secure one thing, they'll hit something else. This is a GIVEN. The issue here is taking these people out before something like this happens again. Can we do that without killing civilians? Will that just prompt a new round of martyrs?

How can the culture of violence ever end?
0 comments

03-09-04

Well. Crazy couple days.

She came by Saturday night, told me she'd been miserable, but wanted to set things right. She told me she was going to see "him," she had the tickets already, BUT she was going to end things with him, and gave me her word nothing physical would happen during the process.

After six years, I accept that a face-to-face breakup is in order, and I was impressed that she was finally willing to make that effort for me, so I guess thus begins round 3 of this relationship.

Ah, what the hell, she makes me happier than I've ever been, lets see what happens.

Last night we decided to play "drinking 500 rummy." Whoever wins the hand has to take a shot, and first person to 1000 points gets the other to buy them dinner.

One of the funnest games I've ever played. We started off evil, challenging each other, and playing balls-out to get that dinner, cause our tolerance has gone through the roof. However, by the end we'd each had over 9 shots (of hardcore rum), and we were pretty well fux0red. So, I decided that drunken french fries were in order.

So, we moved to the kitchen here at 4am. While she attempted to pass out on the couch, I sliced and fried some potatoes, making homemade fries. We ate four potatoes worth and passed out at like 5. Mind you, I had a 9am, and 12pm class, and she had an 11am.

We woke up after 2. Barely made it to our 4pm classes.

We hoofed it downtown after that and dined at this little italian restaurant. Our waiter was actually from Italy, and the food kicked massive amounts of ass. Stopped by the liquor store on the way home, picked up some butterscotch schnappes, beer, wine, and girlie drinks (red wkd). We're going to mix the schnappes with irish cream tomorrow and make these shots called "butterballs," which we had at the bar and were just like candy. Candy that's 20% booze, that is.

Hit the coffe spot on campus on the way back, had a cup of coffee, and reminisced about the day we met each other.

I sat there, and stared into her eyes, and as I saw everything that this girl was, I didn't regret taking her back for a second. Quite the opposite, actually. I actually was told by a friend here that our relationship was like a movie, and I think I agree. The sheer fluke aspect of everything, and the fact that I've never connected like this with a girl. With ANYONE, for that matter. We don't have any classes together, didn't share any mutual friends until I introduced her to Henry, and if I had just not met up with the group of kids that walked to orientation on that first day, I may have never met her.

We hung out back here until about midnight, until we finally parted company. I know that this is not set in stone yet, she actually has to end things with him, and if she can do that still remains a bit of a question. But, at the moment, I don't care. I'm going to remember days like today until the day I die. It was just perfect.

Oh yeah, I'm going to drop my hardest class. This means after March, I have a final on May 6th, and two finals in the 20s of May, and zero other times I have to set foot on campus. Heh, in two months, I have to go to campus 3 times. That's just BEAUTIFUL.

Oh, and the study abroad program at TU requested a link to my picture page. When I gave it to the lady, she showed it to everyone in the office (resulting in two emails from the girls there saying it was impressive), and asked me if they could use some of my pictures on the TU study abroad website.

Now THAT is an update.
2 comments

03-06-04

Ignore this entry if you're tired of hearing me bitch. I'm really going to be ok, eventually, I'm just hurting at the moment.

Its kinda tough at the moment to seperate the hurt from the anger.

I don't think I've ever been quite as pissed at a situation in my entire life. According to everything I feel, everything I hear, it SHOULD work. But its not. And it won't. She made her choice, and I can either sit around and hope she changes her mind, or I can go out and live my life.

The problem is, all I want right now is her. But I flat out refuse to play another round in this game. Its better for all concerned if I walk away now.

But this may be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm hurting myself to spite her.

Everyone I talk to tries to convince me I'm doing the right thing. I'm trying to convince myself I'm doing the right thing. But it goes against my very principles:

1. I find something worth having, and I fight for it. Like my apartment. Like Ireland. Like my friends. Like her.
2. All I want from life is someone to share it with. I don't really care what job I do, I don't really care where I live. The one thing I want from life is somoene to come home to.
Those are the fundamental principles that I live by. That's what I search for in every day.

But its not like she's rejecting me. She still wants me around. She still loves me. She just refuses to give me the same respect I give her. The same LOYALTY I give her. So, I have no choice but to ignore my own fundamental principles, ignore the fact that this girl made me happier than I can ever remember being, and step up. Be a man, realize that no matter what she says, her actions speak louder than words. Realize that I'm better off without her.

Why does everything have to be so fucking hard? All I want is for the girl I love to be mine. Is that really too much to ask?
1 comment

03-04-04

Well, the number 8 bus that runs from my apartment complex to downtown and back, actually has a route that is over an hour long.

Ask me how I know?

I got on the 8, northbound, outside the mall at the city center today, but failed to realize that I actually live SOUTH of there.

Oops.

So, I spent 45 minutes on a nearly empty bus in bum-fuck nowhere, trying to convince myself that I wasn't totally at Ireland's mercy, and that I WAS going to eventually get home.

On a lighter note, last night I drank and then went to freakscene at the club. Half the club was mostly 90's alternative, the other half was essentially a gay scene. I got to watch two grown men lick each other's faces. That was fun.

I don't see that shit in Tulsa.

But I registered today with the Garda, so I can now travel, and I have another photo id card, that has a nice "this is not an ID card" printed on the back. I'm not real sure WHAT it is then. Perhaps I'm supposed to give it to someone, like a signed picture. Or an STD. Whatever.
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03-03-04

Well sheeeyit. I just slept through the entire day. I'm going to blame it on two things: being sick, and not falling asleep until 6am today. Oops.

So, we checked out a jazz club last night. It was neat, but kind of stereotypical. Lots of small stools, lots of people with long hair and wearing lots of black, and a very low light level. However, it was actually a very cool experience. They had a live band that was surprisingly good. They played for a good 2 hours, and the time flew by. We were able to steal the one couch in the place, in the far back, and so it was famously relaxing. As I sat there, watching the surprisingly good, but mellow band play, with one arm around my lady, and the other on one of the best pints of Guinness I've ever had, I came to the conclusion that this was a pretty cool place.
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03-01-04

And its March.

Holy shit.

I have 4 weeks of class left. That's it.

Then.... well, I have no idea. I MIGHT be buying a eurorail pass and traveling europe with Henry. I MIGHT be getting a local job, and spending time making money and enjoying irish culture while all my friends travel. I MIGHT be doing a lot of things. Except studying. Because I'm a lazy bastard.

But, as I understand it, I have these 4 weeks of class left, then the month of April for spring break, then I have the month of May that will contain my four finals. I know I have one final on May 10th, I dunno about the rest. Then fly home June 1st.

I just can't believe its March. I mean, still, I'm not even half done with my time here, but shit, its already been two months, my birthday is in less than three weeks, and I don't have many classes left. It just seems so... final.

I do apologize for my lack of updates, I just haven't had much to say. I haven't travelled since the mountaineering trip 2 weeks ago, I've been kinda sick for the past week, and last weekend I set up things for Liz's b-day.

Its nice though, I haven't written because I haven't been stressing. Its the polar opposite of home. I don't have family shit to worry about, I'm not bouncing around from woman to woman, I'm not consumed by 30 hours a week of Zio's, and class is for the most part pretty easy.

I'm happier now than I have been in a very long time. Not just externally happy and amused, but its like deep down, I'm finally content. The only thing that bothers me is that its going to end sometime. Oh well, I'm having fun now, fuck the rest, I'll deal with it then.

Oh, and I cooked:
Tacos.
Beef and broccoli.
And my trademark spaghetti over the past 3 nights. I love the expression on people's faces when they dig into my food. Its very rewarding, because, SHIT, who expects little white CS major boy to be able to cook? I think this week I'm gonna break out some chicken stir fry, some lasagna, and some burgers.

Heh, I'm listening to Sir Mixalot at the moment. Life is good.
1 comment

02-26-04

I just got the coolest care package EVAH. My parents know I love to cook, and I'd bitched to them once about the lack of spices here, soooo....

check out what they sent me.

Oh, and here are a few pics of the setup I did for Liz's birthday on Saturday. Not pictured are a dozen roses, the stuffed animal puppies, and a box of chocolates.

Yeah, I wanted to treat her right.

I'm loving these spices, man. My entire room smells like an italian kitchen, and its...welll... its fucking SWEET. I have no idea what I'm cooking tonight, but its gonna be GOOD.
5 comments

02-24-04

Life is good.
0 comments

02-18-04

Goddamn. I'm done worrying and I'm done freaking out. I have no idea what's gonna happen with my lady friend, and I kinda like it. We both went into yesterday fully intending to end things with the other person, but it.... didn't take. We'll see what happens there.

On that note, my apologies for the angsty-ness of recent entries, but the situation was stressing me out.

Went out and celebrated Henry's birthday last night, and I got TRASHED. More drunk than I think I've ever been here. And I wasn't the only trashed one. There was beer, there was wine, there was champagne (my gift to Henry), and there were good times a-plenty.
2 comments

02-17-04

I wish I'd gone out tonight. Instead of accepting Megan's invitation to go dancing, I stayed in, did HW and waited for Liz to come back. I'd missed her, and hoped to talk to her. Regardless of whether or not we resolved anything tonight, I just kinda wanted to hold her in my arms.

I saw something pretty cool yesterday. A friend of mine accompanied me on the mountaineering trip, and we got back at 10:30 at night, 14 hours after we had left. Instead of walking home with me, cleaning up, and nursing his wounds, he left me at the bus stop to walk the opposite direction. He hiked downtown, well over a mile, to see his lady friend who had been gone this weekend. I thought that was kind of neat. It showed dedication and consideration. That's so rare nowadays, ya know? That desire to see someone you've missed, if only for five minutes. That willingness to ignore your own pain, to ignore other plans, just to see someone important to you. I mean, shit, he'd been walking all day, had wet shoes, was cold, tired, and it was 10:30 at night. Despite all that, he walked downtown, well over half an hour in the opposite direction from his bed.

It'd be nice if I could get that from the girl who lives 200 feet from me. She's awake, and online. I told her I missed her, she told me she was going to bed. That was half an hour ago.

Fuck this, man. Just fuck this. I'm tired of hoping that one day she'll wake up and let me know that she gives a shit about me. I'm tired of passing up opportunities in my social life for her. I'm tired of having to keep myself from attacking her. You know I didn't complain, I didn't ask her to come over, I just said I understood and wished her a good night's sleep?

When did I become such a pussy?
3 comments

02-16-04

Pizza good.
Differential Equations bad.
I hope combining the two will make it so I don't hate DiffEQ as bad?

Regardless, my body hates me. I'm sore in places that I didn't know existed. Yes, I know I'm a pussy, but dammit, I'm used to being in BETTER shape than my friends, not being the one in shitty shape! Meh, at least I can be the stereotypical lazy/fat american. Woohoo!
0 comments

As it turns out, CS majors AREN'T naturally gifted for mountaineering. Hit up the photo page for more on that one.

This has simultaneously been one of the best and one of the worst weekends here. I've done a ton, and all of it without Liz. Most of it has been an excuse to keep my mind off of her - I miss her fiercely - but I have some great memories from this weekend. The sights I saw on that mountaineering trip? The fun I had dancing with the random French girl Friday night? The fact that I spent Valentine's day with a beer, some chips, a sandwich, and a Jet Li movie?

Those are great memories. Ones that will stick with me. But I'd rather have shown Liz a good time on Valentine's day. I'd rather have not made a total fool of myself on the mountaineering trip. I'd rather have done a lot of things.

But Henry and I have talked a TON this weekend. He's having a little girl trouble himself, and he's helped me kind of put things in perspective.

I'm crazy about Liz, but I'm done being a yo-yo. I'm starting to feel like either we work out some sort of status quo after this weekend, or I'm prolly walking away. I've never walked away from a girl that I still truly wanted before, but I think I've finally convinced myself that its in my best interests. I'm here to have fun, right?

However, I'm jumping the gun. She's not even back from London yet, and I'll just have to wait and see how things turn out. Either way, changes are going down this week.
2 comments

02-14-04

Brandi, you rock. Just so you know.

Went out last night, just me and the guys, and had a damn good time. We started at Henry's playing some drinking chess, at which I got SMOKED. After that, it was out on the town, bar-hopping and then to the club. Wound up meeting this French girl who invited me to come traveling with her today, but I took a pass. Decided to catch up on my sleep instead, but it was kinda nice, regardless.

Today has been nice. Haven't put on pants YET. Shortly here I'll put some on long enough to make some dinner, then promptly take them back off to lounge in here and watch a movie or something. I'm getting up at 7ish tomorrow morning to go mountaineering, so I'm rather content just staying in tonight.
0 comments

02-13-04

Right, so, its Friday the 13th, I didn't get the job, and my girlfriend gets on a plane to see her OTHER boyfriend in... 5 hours.

Wheeeeeeeeeee.
3 comments

02-12-04

I have a job interview in 15 minutes at the gas station across the street. Its not bartending, but its close to where I live, and supposedly pays 7.45euro an hour, which isn't too shabby. Wish me luck.
3 comments

02-10-04

See, the problem is, I just can't turn off my mind. I can't ever seem to convince it that "yeah, things will be fine, there's no point in worrying." Because my mind is a lot smarter than the rest of me. When I think with my heart, or think with my dick, bad things tend to happen.

Although, when I don't think with my mind, far more interesting and entertaining things seem to occur. Most of my fondest memories involve me acting on impulse or following a desire.

Its been kind of an interesting week with my lady friend, because I never seem to know which girl is going to show up on my door. Will it be the girl who never seemed to get tired of me, who loved to lay in my arms, or will it be the girl who doesn't seem to want to touch me and would rather spend time alone?

She's in a bad position, and I get that. Plain and simple, I'm not the only guy she cares about. And he was there first. So, I have absolutely zero right to be jealous of this guy. I have absolutely zero right to be hurt by the fact that she seems to care more about him than me. I have no right to be bothered, right?

I'm tougher to convince than I'd like.

I woke up this morning, and her profile changed yesterday to represent the fact that she's going on a school trip to see her boyfriend. Something to the effect of "4 more days - I Love you."

And it fucking HURT, man.

It just was NOT the way to start my day, especially considering how little I've seen of her of late. Those of you who keep track of my love life know that I've bounced around a lot. I've seen a lot of different types of girls. And its been a long time since I've been with a girl who made me this happy.

I've been able to show this girl all the sides of me, the gamer, the nerd, the partier, the softie, even the guy with an unhealthy obsession with monkeys. I've shown her it all. And a funny thing happened - she embraced it, and even reciprocated. Turns out, this girl has a TON in common with me.

I've opened up to this girl, and given her my heart. Even though I knew I shouldn't. And she gave me hers, I thought.

But all of a sudden, things are weird. Things are fucked up, and distant, and there is not a god damn thing I can do about it. Finally, I'm in a relationship that I honestly give a damn about, and I'm scared shitless that its going to end. I don't want to give this girl up. Its been a long time since I've been able to say that. I want to fight for this girl. I want to somehow show her that she makes me happy.

But I want to make sure she has her space. Make sure she comes to her own decision, and if she winds up with me, that she does it for the right reasons.

Much easier said than done. She's trying to push me away so its easier to see the boyfriend, and I, of course, want to pull her closer. I don't want to let her get away, and I don't want her to run back to him simply out of habit. I know for a fact that this girl was happy with me. But as soon as she realized she was seeing him again soon, she began pushing me away.

As you can prolly tell, I'm insanely confused. And I have zero idea how to play this situation. But I'm getting really tired of being confused.
4 comments

02-09-04

I miss home. I wish I could go home, even just for a weekend. I don't feel like I'm done here yet, and I don't want to leave for good, but god dammit, its been far too long since I've seen a lot of the people who are very important to me.

I got an email from my older sister, and another one from some Zios peeps, and it made me really miss them. I just called Laura's in an endevour to speak to the roommate for a bit, but wound up talking to Laura until my phone card expired, catching up on Zios. I don't know if it made it better or worse, honestly. Everything at home seems to be running just fine without me. I'd held out this slim hope that people wouldn't know what to do with themselves with me gone. You know, life would just fall apart without Zach to keep it glued together. Oh well. I'll be home to fuck things up soon enough, I'm going to enjoy fucking up Ireland at the moment instead.

And dammit people, comment on my pictures. I want SOMETHING.
"Zach, those kick ass. I am in AWE of your photography ability."
"Zach, a blind monkey could have taken better pictures. I mean, seriously, you should be shot for that."
"Zach, those don't SUCK, but don't quit your day job. As a matter of fact, GET a day job, slacker."

Dammit, I miss you guys.
5 comments

02-08-04

South Park Bigger Longer and Uncut comes on TV here at 10:30 (I'm pretty sure its uncensored, too), so, until then, I'm programming and catching up on some homework that needs doing. None of its even due until Friday, so that makes me like a good student or something. But, I feel like bitching for a minute. I'm writing in four different languages tonight: C++ for Numerical Methods, C for Intro to C, OPL for Constraint Based Systems, and Java for Compilers (no, I'm not done yet). OPL is by far the trickiest. It makes me long for LISP. Which, oddly enough is still on my laptop. So is PHP. So is CLIPS. So is PERL. This means I can now code in 8 different languages, not counting HTML. DAMN. Granted, I've forgotten the syntax of most of those, but at least I have experience in all of them. Man, I hope I make good money someday.
2 comments

02-07-04

Today we went to Foda island, which is a nature preserve of sorts, and Cobh, which is the local seaport. It was actually the last port of the Titanic. They had a newspaper from the day after it sank there, it was kinda creepy, but kinda cool.

Today was an amazing day, we did SO much. I can't even describe it all. Instead, I shall point you to my photo page, which has been updated (at the bottom). It has what I feel are the "best" pics from today. I took 89 total, so be glad I weeded through them for you. If for some reason you still crave more, Liz has a webshots set up that you can look at. I want to write more, I want to describe all the funny stories and cool sights I saw today, but I'm just too damn tired. So, count on more of an update tomorrow. But comment on the pictures, I've decided that I enjoy photography, and I need y'all to burst my bubble.
0 comments

02-06-04

Ok, so I picked up two T-Bone steaks at the English Market downtown for about 3euros a piece. Right now they're marinating in the fridge with some teriyaki and worchestershire sauce, and I'm peeling garlic cloves as I write this. The plan is to bake them in the oven with onion, garlic, and pepper on top, and more marinade and olive oil as the sauce. Plus I'm going to leave some whole garlic cloves to cook in the sauce next to the steaks, then use them and the steak juices to season some mashed potatoes I'm going to make.

Man, I'm excited about this. Steak and potatoes. This will SO rock.
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02-05-04

So, I finished something like 1200 pages of a Song of Ice and Fire in about 4 days, and damn it was sexy. I couldn't put it down. Now I'm itching for something to take its place, so gimme some book reccomendations.

Its been an... odd.. couple of days. I can feel things with Liz and I kind of coming to a head, and I really really don't want that happen. I've had so much fun with the girl over the past month, the thought of it ending bothers me a lot more than I'd like. Today was the very first day since I met her, a month ago, that I didn't see her at least once.

I hiked downtown with Henry tonight and we caught a battle of the bands that the college put on. It was 4 euros for admission, but I got a free cd that I'm listening to at the moment. So far, it appears to be complete shit, but hey, its music, and its local.

It was really interesting seeing the local music scene. 4 different bands, 4 very different styles. The first was a very experimental kind of jam band, violin, guitar and drum, and wasn't really my cup of tea. The second was 2 guys who got up with acoustic guitars and pretended to be Tenacious D, and they were quite enjoyable. Shitty musicians, but damn funny. My favorite songs was "J-Lo, get your fucking tits out of my face."

You had to be there.

The third band was more of a traditional alt-metal band, and I enjoyed them, even though their guitar riffs sounded a bit TOO familiar. The last band was the treat though. They sounded very professional, and were just a very cool jam-band. All the songs sounded kind of the same, but the last song made up for it, it was just... neat.

And, despite seeing countless people walk past me with foaming, dripping, mouth-watering pints of Guinness, I didn't have a single drink. Its been 5 days now, and I'm rather proud of myself. I was scaring myself with how much I was drinking, and the fact that I found myself acting "angry drunk" for the first time ever, and so on Saturday I decided to take a week off. 2 more days. Is it bad I'm looking forward to drinking again?
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02-02-04

Stupid good book. Its 6:30 in the morning, I have a 9am class (which I plan on skipping, so its not a big deal), and I'm still up. I should know better than to start a book I wanna read (Song of Ice and Fire, book 3) on a school night.
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02-01-04

Man, I really wish I was at home today. Its the Super Bowl. I don't really give a shit about the teams, but this is the last football game for 6 months. My boys and I, drinking too much, eating some chicken wings, god damn I'm missing that. Several of the Zios peeps have emailed me about the party Derrik is throwing tonight.

My headphones + my laptop + angry music turned way up has become my substitute for driving with the music far too loud. I still miss driving, every day. I miss hopping on the expressway, looking like a fool as I zoom past all the shitty Tulsa drivers, with my windows down and my linkin park up.

I'm rather melancholy today. No desire to do much of anything. As much as I really don't want to, I think I really need employment. My parents hinted, less than subtly, that perhaps I should pursue it as well. My spare cash will be out in a matter of a few weeks, and I need to generate more, SOMEHOW. I would look into male prostitution, but that doesn't seem to be too much in demand here. If we were in the states, I could bet my friends I could out-drink them, and win, but here? Hah. They'd find me in a gutter.

Perhaps I should try dancing. Belly dancing. I have a belly. That's all it takes, right?

I got nothing, my jokes feel forced, and I can't write what's nagging at me. Blarg.
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