4-30-03
Yes, its 5am. I didn't get back from TU until 4 (was doing NACHOS), and just watched the Buffy I taped while I was at work. Yep, I own up to watching Buffy. I don't know whether thats a good thing or a bad thing. Is it like people admititng that they watch Star Trek 5 years ago? Pseudo-trendy, but still too nerdy for mainstream? Nah, I think its prolly just geeky, considering I only know ONE person that is willing to admit they watch it too.
I don't have mad "mack skillz." I like to think I do, sometimes, when I'm on one of my more arrogant mood swings, but I honestly don't. It was confirmed tonight, I got shot down. Twice. Oh yeah. The first was this new hosti from work. She seems like a sweet girl, tonight was her second night, and she smiled at me every time I saw her. So I talk to her a bit, wind up saying:
You know, you smile every time I see you.
"You want me to stop?"
No, far from it, I'm just trying to figure out if you're flirting with me...(said with a wry smile, of course)
(she smiles back)"I guess you'll never know."
I took that as a good sign, and worked up the balls to sort of ask her for her number. I walked up to her as I was leaving, and was like
i don't work the next few nights, but would it be cool if I could talk to you some more sometime?
"Yeah, that would be cool."(she says with a smile)
So, I'm like SCORE. But I was a lil bit ahead of myself. For, as you will soon see, not everything is as clear-cut as I would have liked.
Well, cool then, do you think I could get your number....(this was as far as I got, for she started talking again midway through this sentence)
"I work the next few nights, but have Friday off."
Ah, I work Friday.
Well, I'll talk to you sometime.
I guess so.... I'll see you later.
"Oh, are you leaving?" (she asks as I walk out the door)
Yup...(I wait to see if she'll say anything....then give up) have a good night.
"Bye!"
Boom, that was it. Shot down cold. I still am not even sure she heard me ask for the number, but I'm not about to press the issue, I have SOME pride left. Although even less now. Want to know why?
So, I'm at Starbucks with Ben and Jeff later tonight, taking a break from doing the god damn nachos project. We proceed to order our drinks, and there is this cute girl sitting at a table all by herself right next to the counter. Jeff makes a gay crack about Ben and I, and we begin light-hearted banter back and forth, when I have an idea. I turn to the girl, and I'm like
I think I could use a little help here, would you be willing to help me out?
"Actually, I'll probably just ignore you, I have to study." She points at her book, and looks back down, not to say another word.
I made sure to thank her for her help when I left.
Its just COLD out there. Of course, in all honesty, these were the first girls I've even made an effort with since I ended things with Kat. I'm honestly regretting it a little bit, because I really miss having a warm body there. The thing is, I don't think I want Kat back, I just want something casual and fun. Something lighthearted.
I'm ready to not be alone every night.
Even with Kat, that's how I felt sometimes. She outright refused to spend the night at my house ever. I dunno why, but that was a big deal for me. I wanted to wake up in my own bed next to a beautiful girl. I still do.
I had a conversation with my good friend Matt tonight, which pertained directly to this situation. I told him I'm ready for something fun, something where I don't have to worry about screwing a girl up for life if I want to touch her boob.
I'm SO going to hell for this, I know it. But at least I'm honest with y'all.
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4-28-03
I reinstalled Counterstrike last night on a suggestion from my old friend Small Change, and it was very worth it. I SUCK now. It hurts. I used to hardcore OWN, but they changed CS while I was gone. I can't handle not being able to move as fast after you jump, it forced me to change my entire style of play. I think I did alright though.
I had a chance to see Cindy Friday night, and it was very cool. I hung out with her and her family for several hours, and we had a blast. Did nothing overly important, but it was good to see her and the rest of her crew. I remember why I was so fiercely loyal to them. I do want to apologize to Matt and Sarah though, since I kind of skipped the Smash tourney to see Cindy. Sorry guys.
Moving out in ten days. w00t and a half. My god I'm excited about this. I've been working my ass off to make sure I have enough cash to do it, and I think I'm about there, with at least 4 shifts at work between now and then to raise more cash. Its basically set, I have the materials for my bedroom and bathroom, and I have a couch and electronics (just nothing to put the electronics on.) My parents are also helping me stock my kitchen. They've already given me a shitload of little stuff, a lot of it comes from the apartment my dad had for a few months in Missouri. I just need to get some sort of entertainment center and ideally some sort of dining room table. Not sure HOW, but I'm thinking mebbe cruise garage sales next week.
This week is dead week. I have class tomorrow (Monday), but then don't have to set foot on TU until NEXT Monday, when I have 3 8am finals in a row. I'm deeply concerned about my AI final. He gave us a syllabus, and it made me cry. Oh well, such is life.
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4-25-03
Acts of Gord. Great site, highly entertaining, its the chronicles of a manager of a video game store. I highly reccommend spending some time reading it.
I signed the papers and put the deposit down on my apartment Monday. Its in Riverpark, which is directly across the street from Zios. I have an upstairs place with a patio, about 700 square feet total, and its $339 a month rent, plus $12 for water, sewer, and trash combined. $351 + electric=total new bills. I'm pretty sure I can handle that.
Apparently there is a Super Smash Brothers tourney tomorrow night on campus. I would love to hit that up. I'm a lil rusty, but I think I could do pretty well, hopefully I can make it up there.
We are damn close to having part 1 of Nachos done, the coding is down, just need to debug. Thankfully Dr. Papa gave us an extra week to work on it, its not due until a week from today. Oh, and I made a 100 on that test Monday morning, so w00t for me.
I'll debate life tomorrow.
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4-21-03
Its a good day. Its a GREAT day. I'm SO tired that I'm about to die, and I have to work from 4-11 tonight, but I don't care. Today is beautiful. I spent all night working with Jeff and Ben on finishing the AI project and studying for the OS test I had this morning. ACED the OS test. Cold. Its so badass, Papa didn't bother to rewrite the test from last year, of which we had a copy :)
Also got the AI project completely finished, and its mighty badass as well. I see no reason I wouldn't get a 100 on it as well. These are GREAT things.
Its a beautiful sunny day out. Just BEAUTIFUL. And not just the sun, I had the opportunity to walk through sorority row today on the way back to my car. That was nice too. Very nice. Summer means less clothing. I'm a fan.
So, I arrive home and my mom baked me cookies! Cookies! Chocolate chip! That SO rules! AND my hard drive came back from Maxtor. I sent my 80 gig in after it died, and they sent me a 120 gig in return! 120 gigs! My hard drive GREW 40 gigs just by sending it back its family. I think I'll try sending in my processor next :)
Its such a great day. I've had to work hard to make it happen, and I have to work a whole lot more, but I'm really enjoying the fruits of my labor today. Go out and enjoy the day.
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4-18-03
DAMN YOU ALL! POST IN MY FORUMS!
Please?
Watch this.
Read this.
Now, any guys out there whose heads aren't exploding from overstimulation of nerdy and sexual goodness already know I stole both those links from Penny Arcade which I think is the best webcomic out there, if for no other reason than their news posts are always extremely entertaining, regardless of whether or not I agree with them. Although Joe does make a good point. Either way, I plan on continuing to read it.
I'm enrolled. Worked it out so all my classes are on T-TH next semester, which rules. Leaves a lot of possibilities open as far as working and the apartment. Only having to go to TU twice a week means I can live pretty much wherever I want and work just about any schedule. Here's my course schedule:
9:30 - 10:45: Compilers. To quote Dr. Hale: "The hardest course at TU." I get to build a Pascal compiler... in java.
11-12:15: Psychology of Work. Block course, but Psych interests me, so its all good.
12:30-1:45: Writing for the Profession. Junior english, required.
2-3:15: Priciples of Economics-Macro. Block course, gonna try to trade it out for Photoshop, if I'm lucky.
4:30-5:45: Secure Electronic Commerce. E-commerce with Dr. Hale, it should be a blast, but a bit tough.
So, thats it. I'm psyched. I think it'll work well. I'm also consumed with thoughts of the apartment on pretty much an hourly basis. So far, I have the same two options still, one by TU and one by Zios, both around $400 a month plus electric. That's just fine by me, just a tough decision as to which one I want. Over the summer, I'll definately prefer being close to Zios, but during the school year I'll love being close to campus, so its a toughie. However, in all honesty, I don't really care. I just want one and I'm happy. I need to get my hands on some furniture though, right now all I've got is my bed, couch, computer desk and chair, and my clothes dressers. Nothing else really, no tables, no entertainment center type stuff, no REAL chairs (I have some really cheap like $5 chairs), no place to even eat besides my computer desk. So thats something else I have to figure out. However, it appears at the beginning of summer that I'll have approximately 2 grand (including my yet to arrive tax refund) to fund the whole thing, so I think I'll be ok. One thing I haven't quite gotten worked out is finding a truck to haul my mattress and couch up there. Everything else should fit in my focus, I just need like 3 trips with a truck. I'm sure I'll get it worked out. Its nice that things are finally falling into place. I'm going to make good enough grades as long as I make a B in OS, I'm going to get a decent apartment, and I'm making some new and awesome friends. Its really nice after all the shit that's gone down that things are finally coming together.
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4-15-03
Got into a discussion about Anime today, and like the fifth person recommended Cowboy Bebop to me. I'm going to have to get around to seeing that. If anyone has a couple episodes they could burn onto CD or something, I'd appreciate it.
So, yesterday was a very interesting combination of drama and extreme silly fun. We'll talk about the fun first.
Wound up talking to Sarah online until 4am Sunday night, after working a double which I did on like 6 hours of sleep. So, at 4am, we decide that going to get donuts would be a good idea. I drove up to campus and we were at Krispy Kreme before it even opened. Then wal-mart, then watching the sun rise in Hunter Park, then showing up at Sarah's 8am physics class with a dozen donuts. The surprise in Matt's face was priceless. So, because I was made to go to physics, Matt and I made Sarah come to OS, which was good because she kept waking me up when I kept falling asleep. Then went to AI and came home and CRASHED (I hadn't slept yet). Of course, I set my alarm for 3pm to wake me up so I wouldn't be late for work, but I was woken by a phone call. It was Brandon, a manager from work, and he was wondering why I wasn't there an hour ago. Turns out, my alarm hadn't gone off and I slept till 5pm.
Oops.
Anyway, work was cool for the most part, but Jenn took the fact that I broke up with Kat the wrong way. She's such a sweet girl, but was really hurt that I wasn't interested. That sucked. What also sucked is that my idiot sister has been using my computer while I'm at work. Since I have deadAIM installed, everything is logged, so I get to see what she's been saying while I was at work. Turns out, she seriously thinks I'm gay, mocked me for breaking up with Kat, and can't wait until I move out. This is my sister, boys and girls. I'm so proud.
Other drama: one of my best friends thought I said some shit that I didn't, and he was pretty pissed about it. If you're reading this man, I DID NOT say that, and you are so totally my bro.
I'm pretty sure Kat switched screen names. I'd kind of like to try and talk to her, but haven't seen her online since like Thursday. I wonder if she still reads this or not.
Damn TU for cancelling the one English course I have to take. Its totally fucking my schedule. I had it worked out so I could just take classses on T-TH, but now I'm going to have to find something to replace it, prolly on MWF mornings, which totally sucks. DAMN YOU TU! To top that off, I have to enroll tomorrow. Timing is everything.
Oh, and girls are TOTALLY confusing, regardless of what Sarah says.
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4-14-03
So, Matt S and I had a rather interesting converstaion tonight that grew into a pretty damn unique story, so I thought I'd share it with y'all, at his request.
I also am gonna link my friend Matt McD's (yes, a different Matt) new website, check it out.
Girls are confusing.
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4-13-03
Ok, its time to clear up a few things. I'm really damn tired of telling the story, so if anyone wants to know why I broke up with Kat, I'm going to just put it here. Its fucking painful that everyone keeps asking me about it, cause I threw away prolly the best thing I've ever had, but I'd do it again in a hearbeat, and here's why:
I can't be with someone that I'm not "first" to. Thats just the way I am. If I'm going to put someone first, then I expect them to do the same. I'm an egotistical son of a bitch, and anyone who is going to be with me has to realize that I want out what I put in. I would have loved for her to JUST ONCE blow off studying to come see me. I would have loved for her to come see me first when she came into town every other Friday instead of going home to see her family on the ONE NIGHT a week I get to see her. I would have loved to have been able to see her a second time a week, but she had to study. She always had to study. I know that she's hardworking, and I know that she's dedicated, but I honestly don't understand how someone who doesn't have to work and doesn't have to commute can't find a second night a week in which to have fun. I worked hard to make the time for her. I work 25-30 hours a week, I commute to class, and I'm taking one of the hardest majors in one of the hardest colleges this side of MIT, and I still found the time for her. I went out of my way to put her first in everything, all I wanted was a little bit back. I'm not saying I was perfect, far from it. I was a jackass, and I was arrogant, but that's part of my personality. All I wanted was to take out what I put in. Thats why I ended it. I believe she thinks I did it for a different reason, and she's wrong. I think I was wrong at first too. I thought I ended it because she refused to compromise. When I went back and thought it about it though, all I wanted her to compromise on was this sort of stuff. Now, I'm not saying she didn't take care of me. She took GREAT care of me. This was the sort of girl who brought me hot soup when I was sick over spring break. But I've come to realize that I'm only going to be first AFTER she takes care of her stuff. So, thats it. This is my fucking deepest personal shit here for the world to see. Now, if you don't mind, I'd really aprreciate it if everyone would quit fucking mentioning it, because it hurts like hell.
Apparently we are still selling the house, especially with my dad getting canned. So this could get real interesting real soon. I mention this because of my apartment-finding difficulties: I'm getting angry at the lady who was supposed to rent me the apartment. I called her for the frst time this past Monday and she told me she would set up a walkthrough. So, I left my number expecting a response on Tuesday or Wednesday. On Friday I called her again and had to leave a message with her assistent, to which she was supposed to call me back within an hour. So, it being late Saturday night and I still haven't heard from her, I'm starting to get worried. I was really psyched on the idea of getting an apartment near TU, so I dunno what I'm going to do now.
New Cold is pretty cool, but I've been listening to new (hed)p.e. a lot recently. Its fast, its heavy, and its profane, which is exactly what I've been craving recently. Actually broke out some Slipknot this week, its rather therapeutic. I may have had a few issues to work through this week. Just maybe.
One thing I will say though: I want to thank all my friends for rallying around me this week and making me feel a whole lot less alone. Especially Sarah and Matt for taking me out the past couple nights. Thanks also to Jeff, Matt McD, and Rocky for some sound advice, and to Brandi and Sharon for putting up with me ranting at 3am. Twice. I would prolly be a headcase without y'all, so when I say thank you, I truly mean it.
Its not all bad, life is actually pretty good. I get $1200 back on my income tax, but since my parents take a $400 hit so I can get that money (they dont claim me as a dependant) I'm sure they'll demand I give them some, which I think is only fair. The friend from work who asked me to her prom is being really cute about it, its her fist prom apparently, and so I get the chance to try and redo mine, but do it right, which I'm kind of excited about. I've always been fairly disapointed in most aspects of my prom, especially the after-party when my date went upstairs to have sex with her boyfriend.
Yeah. I had a pity date.
Its ok though, she was hot :)
I don't think I'm actually a "real" date for this one either, but hey, I'm still going to try and do this right, at least for her sake.
Lets see, what else...
Oh! Matt and Sarah have gotten me addicted to Worms World Party. Its really damn cool, simply for the ability to throw an exploding sheep at your friends. I just need to figure out how to make it work on my computer. I have a warez version Joe gave me, but I still can't figure out how exactly to make it work. If anyone has had any experience with it, please let me know.
I'm working on adding a per-post comments thingy similar to most other blogs out there, but I want to code it myself. Its not an issue of coding difficulty, I'm certain I can do it, I just need to find a server that will run perl scripts, which this one wont. I'll let you know if I can figure out a way to do it, but until then just use the forums.
I'm starting to run out of things to say, which means that this may be a good time to quit typing. I just needed to get some of that out there, possibly so I can just feel justified, regardless of whether or not I actually am. I think you all know what I'm talking about.
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4-10-03
Redesign time. Archives finally fixed. Life sucks at the moment, but it'll get better. Apparently my Dad lost his job, he's moved back home. I'm assuming this is a bad thing. Too much else to even try to talk about. Bye.
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4-08-03
In the past 24 hours, Zach has:
aced a test early this morning
been served his first drink in a restaurant, a shot appropriately titled "adios mother fucker"
signed on to take a 17 year old girl to prom (she's a sweetie, it'll be fun)
almost gotten an ORU girls number (she was willing to give it up, but didnt take it, much to Brad's chagrin)
worked a closing shift at work
had some less than friendly words with a fellow CS student
heard that Cindy got hit by a drunk driver (but thankfully she's ok, last I heard)
gotten new (hed) p.e. from Tyler (thanks again bud)
not missed a single class
and oh yeah, my parents are still selling this house, as I learned at about this time yesterday
What did you do yesterday?
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4-07-03
So, we're selling our house. If I wasn't moving out before, apparently I definately am now. My mom says they are wanting to find a place to rent or something here in Tulsa, but somehow I doubt that's whats going to happen. My dad has a full-time job in Marshfield, Missouri and an apartment there (its where he's lived for the past several months), so we'll just see how that plays out. The thing thats hitting me is that it means my safety net will be gone. I won't have a place to leave the stuff I don't want to take with me when I move out and I won't have a place to go back to if I can't afford the apartment. So, Zach gets to see if he can afford his own place, his own car, and put himself through college just by waiting tables. It could get interesting.
Thanks to Joe for hooking me up with the new Cold album and for the original release of the new (hed)p.e., and thanks to Tyler who will be hopefully sending me the final mix of the album later tonight. Both CD's are pretty cool, although (hed)p.e. is more of an acquired taste. Y'all should give Cold a shot though.
I called today about a potential apartment. I waited on a lady and her husband a few weeks ago and he gave me his number and a line on an apartment about two miles from school. So, I call his number this afternoon, they tell me to call his wife. So, I get her number, call his wife. She isn't there, I leave a message. Get a call back about an hour later, and she starts laughing once she realizes who it is, but promises to knock the rent down to $425 from $450 for a single by Utica Square (which is nice) and promises to give me a walkthrough shortly, as long as she has one available which she wasn't sure about. So, that's good news, but the thing that threw me was her laughing and saying "you wouldn't believe this" as she hung up the phone. Heh.
Anyone who wants to help Kathrin's mom with her wedding gift registry should take a look at it here, and give me some feedback about it. She sent me those two pages as word documents and I converted them to webpages and uploaded them real quick, haven't put any real time into them, although I prolly should. This means you, Tyler.
Going to get the next AI project sometime today. He was supposed to email it to us this past Friday but he didn't, and being the true jackass he is, he's keeping the due date the 21st, the same day as our next Operating Systems test. Uggg.
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4-04-03
I've gotten spoiled by the internet. I refuse to buy a cd anymore without wanting to hear at least part of it. Case in point: new (hed)p.e. I didn't even know they had a new album coming out (which prolly isn't a good sign) but now that it is, I want to download it. Now, it used to be one or two songs off of Kazaa was cool, but Kazaa has so many fakes out now its becoming just downright painful to illegally steal my music. Its just not right! I mean, seriously people, what kind of pig-fucker renames silence to a new song? Or spends the time looping like 10 seconds of a song? Its just damn frustrating. I've given my speech before about how if I respect an artist/like an album I'll buy it, is it too much to ask to be able to listen to it before I make up my mind? Its like renting a movie before you buy it. All these internet companies want to make money selling us music online, and thats just asinine. Want to know how to make money? Set up a site that streams new music say a week before it comes out. The diehard fans will pay to hear it early, and curious people will be willing to throw down mebbe a dollar or two to get to listen to the CD. Everyone wins.
Meh, what do I know, I'm a fucking college student who still lives at home. Its nice in principle though.
Go watch The Parlor. It a little ten minute vid that Tyler linked me to, and its... unique. You won't regret watching it, just make sure you watch it all the way through.
The Suicide Club. A great little stoy, and I found it through a link on the blog of Sarah's boyfriend.
There we go boys and girls. Thats a full fledged blog update. Talked about a serious topic, let you in on my latest money-making scheme, and even linked to two seriously artistic things, a movie and a novel. Yeah, thats right, I'm a badass.
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4-02-03
I need my own fucking place. Its going to happen this summer. MY place. No roommate. No little sister, nobody fucking with me. I don't care how, I'm GOING to find a way to do it. I've just had enough of this house. Wish me luck.
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4-01-03
Linkage!:
The squirrels.
This is what happens when you fuck with the squirrels.
Trippy, strangely entertaining, and the best music ever.
"To discharge" + "milk or sperm"=better check your translation FIRST.
Been busy. Damn busy. Since the last time I wrote (late saturday night), I got about six hours of sleep, woke up and worked a six hour shift sunday morning, came home and spent 14 hours on an AI project, gotten two hours of sleep, gone to class and turned in the AI project, come home, done an HTML project (thanks Kyle), gotten one hour of sleep, worked a closing shift at work (about 8 hours), finally gotten a decent nights sleep, gone to class this morning, and then just got home from another 7 hour shift at work. Its been wild and crazy, kids. However, I did make $250 last night, which is DAMN sexy. I made $85 in tip off one table, and this table bought four bottles of wine. This is important since we were running a wine contest. Every bottle of wine you sell you get $3, and they bought enough to push me into first place in the wine contest (which ended yesterday) which has a prize of $100. So, essentially, I made $200 off of one table. Yeah, that ruled. Honestly, I don't have anything major to talk about. Haven't had time to do anything interesting in a few days, just work, school, and sleep. On the bright side, Renee (a girl from work) is cooking chinese stir fry tomorrow afternoon and invited me over. Free chinese food, you think I'll turn that down? Anyway, enjoy the links, I'm crashing.
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